Are you too lovely?

I heard and interesting discussion on BBC s Woman's Hour recently, are you too Lovely? I suffer from this trait to a degree, and think it is largely a British affliction.   Too willing to say yes, and then resenting that i have given up my precious spare time.  I haven't learned how to say no properly, I am learning but it takes practise.  But, recently I have undergone an epiphany.  Before, I when I did something nice, to a degree, I expected some kind of payback.  Even if it was just recognition.  A friend who left the area did lovely things for people all the time and expecting nothing, and doing them with such a degree of energy that I couldn't compete. I didn't have the energy or strength of character.  Since she has been gone, I have tried to learn from her, my inner voice asking, 'what would Jen do?'.  And the shift in how I am left feeling after acting on these thoughts has been beautifully freeing.  I am liking myself more.  For a while it became a challenge, what nice things can I do for people without them noticing?  That's quite hard to maintain as mostly the answer is to give money or pay for something for them.  But that is not a good solution as I don't have that much spare cash that it wouldn't just piss my husband off if we get into debt because I am paying for a cleaner for someone else....  So, I was thinking, next week of offering to go over to this girl's house I know who going through a shit time and, with her, help her clean her house.  Now this is a mine field.  It is saying - your house is disgusting, and you need charity, but I am hoping that she will see past that to to the help it will give her, and the fact that very often it'd the little things, like a clean living space that can help so ,much with a person's mental state.  Plus, her youngest and my youngest will be able to play together (so its a play date).